I wanna be a ninja scientist

Now Playing: Two Trains, by Little Feat. Illusion it is just the same conclusion, I don’t know how to play the game, Of what it is or how it’s going to be, When one train is my friend and the other train is me.”

I still want to be a superhero. But I’ve got another career to pursue, too, courtesy of my 8-year-old neighbor, William Calvin Lawson III. Turns out young WCLIII answered, when asked this week what he wanted to be, ninja scientist. That sounds like a pretty sweet job to me, delivering science and silent death.

Think of it. That black lab coat and cap, with those shoe thingies that ninjas wear, I think, would be a good look for me (black being slimming and all). I could sneak around the lab spiriting away ingredients – maybe for my latest guacamole concoction. Curry, anyone? Fresh cilantro? I’m pretty silent anyway and can be stealthy. Austin lost me in the house just the other day.

The scientist part might be deal killer, though. I like science fiction – Asimov’s my favorite – but I’m not sure I could actually invent anything.

And then there’s the killing part of being a ninja. My pacifism might present a problem there.

But the superhero jobs don’t seem to be rolling in, despite all the resumes I’m sending out. Might be that lack of powers thing (I know it doesn’t stop Batman, but he does have a fortune to fall back on). So I think I’ll post a resume seeking the next available ninja scientist job. There have to be as many of those as journalism jobs.

Might not work though. My application will have one major shortcoming.

No prior ninja-scientist-agency experience.


“Walking side by side with death, The devil mocks their every step
The snow drives back the foot that’s slow, The dogs of doom are howling more
They carry news that must get through, To build a dream for me and you
They choose the path that no one goes.”
No Quarter
, Led Zeppelin


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